Olusegun Oyesanya
4 min readAug 7, 2020

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Have you ever imagined that your level of confidence could affect your negotiation skills? The answer from leading negotiation experts is in the affirmative.

Negotiator’s confidence — 6 Reasons Your Self-Esteem is Crucial to Your Negotiation Skills

If you have ever seen a shy or jittery fellow attempting to negotiate a deal or pay, the process and results often look like a pitiable struggle than a fair bargain. These problems and many more can be resolved, and you can build your confidence.

Are you pursuing a career in a business negotiation or you want to learn a thing or two about negotiations? Then, this short article is for you.

How Self-Esteem Affects Your Negotiation Skills

The first perceptions about the quality of skills of a negotiator are usually derived from the confidence he or she exhumes. Good self-esteem is often advocated for by top negotiators.

In training students at negotiation seminars, experienced negotiators inspire trainees to believe in their abilities to pull off the seemingly impossible deals. This is because studies reveal that low self-esteem can be extremely detrimental to the negotiator’s cause.

For instance, in an experimental research, participants in a cognitive task were promised compensation of $1 for their efforts and an opportunity to demand up to $5 if they felt they deserved more. Only 36% of 140 students demanded $5 and they got it. This could have been millions of dollars if it involved closing deals between multinational companies.

While self-confidence may not always translate into a win at the negotiation table, it certainly places the odds of success in your favor.

In a study by Miles and LaSalle, self-efficacy (a belief in one’s abilities to achieve success) directly affected the performance of negotiators. Thus, good self-esteem will generally lead to confidence in your negotiation skills — your ability to influence the outcome of deals.

Rising to become a top negotiation expert involves learning to put your emotions under control and expel the thoughts of “not being good enough”. Any class of self-esteem would greatly affect your mentality during the preparation stages, team leadership, and the actual negotiation exercise.

Advantages of Good Self-Esteem

1. Positivity: Staying positive matters a lot when preparing for a negotiation. Nervy negotiators would have problems dealing that deals with team leadership responsibilities. Good self-esteem would birth confidence and a lot of positive vibes that will potentially inspire you to get the best for yourself, your team, and your client.

2. It brings your leadership qualities to the fore

3. Helps to maintain a good sense of alertness

4. Handle surprises and failures with unwavering confidence

5. Ability to take criticism without feeling targeted, uneasy, or depressed

6. Easy interaction

The Negotiator: Negotiating skills and negotiations

Indicators of Low and High Self-Esteem

There are several indicators of low and good self-esteem. A harmonized list from scholars on the indicators of low self-esteem include:

a. Low opinions about oneself and abilities

b. Expression of negativity

c. The fear of failing to impress

d. Self-efficacy/Belief in your own ability

e. Recoiled or aggressive response to criticism

f. A lower value is being placed on skills and abilities

g. Poor reactions to surprises and bad situations

h. Feelings of insecurity

Would you love to know how you can improve your self-esteem to impact your negotiation results? Here are some great tips for you:

The Drawing Board

Modern negotiators realize the importance of “preparing hard” before the D-day.

While the actual negotiation may not last more than a few hours, days into weeks, and tons of research work and background checks are invested during the preparation stage. This is because many negotiators believe real success is achieved on the drawing board. Negotiation workshops will help in providing you with the basics of effective preparation.

Planning and preparing well for negotiations will boost your confidence and belief about striking a good deal. Sign up to join an affordable negotiation class and learn considerably more about preparing for negotiations.

Self-Motivation and Affirmation

Lack of self-motivation can develop into a “give-up” attitude.

How you motivate yourself can be linked to how you esteem your negotiation skills. High self-esteem will make it easy to inspire you in your “down moments”. This will ultimately rub off on your team and how you handle shock waves across the negotiation table.

Always remind yourself that you are in charge and you are capable of influencing every decision. Yes, you read it right — INFLUENCE EVERY DECISION.

Confident people never resist the chance to speak positively about their skills.

Students of negotiation must learn the habit of talking up their skills and emphasizing the value they bring to the table. This is crucial to the negotiation chess game.

Think Mostly of Success

Dealing with the fear of failure is sometimes not very easy especially when the pressure begins to pile up. It is very important that you learn how to deal extensively on how to build your self-esteem.

You should think more of success than you do of failing. Only then, you would be able to pull off the extraordinary deals.

A negotiator’s poor self-esteem can ruin the narratives of a perfect negotiation. It must be dealt with before it deals with the negotiator.

Understandably, it may be difficult to get help alone. But with several modern negotiations training, seminars and workshops, there is access to globally recognized negotiation experts, vast resources, and colleagues that can easily create the right atmosphere to build your self-esteem.

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